A MAN

Posted: November 17, 2010 in Published Works

I’ve been really lazy of late. I just can’t seem to get myself to write anything worth posting. But I promise I will get round to it soonest. In the meantime, I ‘borrowed’ and reworked this post from one of my favourite bloggers-Jackson Biko (Hope you’ve read his blog – BIKOZULU). I trust you will enjoy it and that he won’t sue me for plagiarism or anything of the sort.

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A MAN

By Jackson Biko

Men are born. Males are made. A man is verb, not a noun. Men aren’t static, they are fluid. A man is only a man as long as he feels he is a man, after that the bottom falls off and he stops being a man, he becomes a noun. And when a man becomes a noun he buys poodles and starts wearing purple skinny jeans.

A man isn’t afraid to cry, but not before his daughter because in his daughter’s eyes he is more than a man.

A man is aware of his susceptibility and he uses it to spur ambition.

A man doesn’t watch Sebuleni show.

A man can fix a broken sink.

A man eats with his hands if he has to.

A man is not defined by his drink, he defines his drink, even if it’s Sauvignon Blanc.

A man should be able to laugh at himself, to take a joke, even a bad one.

A man takes care if his mother.

A man doesn’t ask a woman, “Do I snore in my sleep?” Because snoring is the euphemism for roaring in the animal kingdom.

A man appreciates a woman’s bare skin, the revelation of nakedness- and so Ricky Martin isn’t a man, at least not enough.

A man rises up and defends his woman’s honour even if his woman is obviously on the wrong.

A man doesn’t gossip. He takes a punch on the chin.

A man leaves the house when his woman has those women’s kyama meeting over. And he never carries her handbag. Never.

A man has no qualms saying he is sorry because an apology not only redeems his soul, but it averts a woman’s rabid tongue.

A man pays his debts, if not his taxes.

A man knows his children by name, and what they had for dinner last night. And he kisses them.

A man can make an omelet-or at least try and he isn’t afraid that doing dishes will make him less.

A man loves sex but learns to tame the beast of his loins.

A man helps a blind man to cross the street.

A man isn’t afraid of age, no less than he is afraid of ageing.

A man never sings aloud to Celine Dion, even if no one is listening.

A man listens more than he argues. He picks a book sometimes, perhaps more than he picks a beer.

Alcohol doesn’t change a man, he changes it.

A man doesn’t get into a woman’s purse- even if she sends him there.

A man never hits a woman, no matter how obnoxious and rabid she is. He sends her back to her mother.

A man never, ever under any circumstance says “woishe” in his conversation.

A man isn’t afraid to fail, but only if he will try again.

A man never takes his best friend’s woman, even if she has an ass like Toni Braxton’s. And he never snitches on a fellow man.

A man has to watch The Godfather, and like it damn it.

A man doesn’t pretend to know everything; he prefers to learn from those who know.

A man wears a watch that works.

A man makes many mistakes in his life, it’s the hallmark of manhood.

Sometimes, a man masturbates.

A man believes in something, anything; a value, a thought, a principle, and defends it like he would his child.

A man lets the woman order first.

A man doesn’t leave when the chips are down; he takes a long breath and finds a way.

A man loves the TV series MadMen and doesn’t find Don Draper a nuisance, only emotionally stunted.

A man doesn’t need this article to inform his manhood; he reads it, maybe smiles a bit and continues being the man as he, and only he understands it.

 

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